


Season of the Batman

by geewizzle



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: BTAS style writing, Batman - Freeform, Bruce's early Batman career, Ed and Os in their fourties, Fluff and general bickering, Gotham, Jim is amused, M/M, Murder Husbands, first encounters with the Bat, imagine if BTAS was the sequel to Gotham, married couple banter, shenanigans with Batsy, very comic bookish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geewizzle/pseuds/geewizzle
Summary: In the not so distant future, Ed and Oswald have one of their first encounters with the dreaded Batman.





	Season of the Batman

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after simultaneously binge watching Batman the animated series and Gotham season 2 and 3 and this was the result. Enjoy!

It was a quiet but conventional morning in the Nygma-Cobblepot Mansion. The invigorating essence of pine trees from the winter breeze outside the estate, was making itself known to the devious couple. Winter was particularly Oswald's favourite time of year. Though he loathed the chilling cold, he welcomed the warmth that accustomed the season of fuzzy blankets and wood fires with open arms.

Edward however, much preferred the antecedent season to Winter, marvelling how nature can allow leaves from a tree to change so astoundingly and then fall to the ground as a natural routine. Though, he wouldn't deny his adoration for warm fires on frosty nights and cuddling up with his husband to radiate more heat, in order keep the both of them warm.

Oswald, perched on his golden armchair that is placed grandly in the middle of the living room, was meticulously scanning the freshly inked newspaper in his hands. He scowled at the title of the Gotham Gazette's latest issue; 'The Batman Foils Joker's Scheme Again!'.

'The Batman', Oswald thought to himself, 'what a clown'.  
Though Ed and Oswald have never seen the masked vigilante themselves, the 'Batman' was beginning to create quite the name for himself. Which tempted The Penguin to feel slight unease, as he could not contemplate whether this 'Batman' was a threat to them or not. There had been numerous reports recently of the vigilante putting a stop to a number of Oswald's foes and associates, such as Poison Ivy, Victor Fries and now Jeremiah Valeska, or 'The Joker' as he was so infamously called. 

However, Oswald couldn't quite decide whether the prosecutions of these fellow villains were working in his favour. Less rivals on the streets meant less competition.  
Though, this also hinted that perhaps he and Ed were next on the 'Batman's' hit list.

Unlike Oswald who held a sense of disdain towards the caped crusader, Ed found the anonymity of the 'Batman' fascinating. He was incredibly impressed how one man could conceal his hidden identity so securely, whilst fighting criminals in Gotham's spotlight. It intrigued Ed to no end, and he began to see the being of the Batman as a personified riddle. Possibly the greatest riddle that Edward was yet to decode. Who is The Batman?

Edward's slight obsession with finding out the identity of the Batman, no doubt irritated Oswald, as his husband often became distracted from his work. It had been 17 years since they begin their power serge in Gotham's underworld, and now the two were the most powerful crime lords in the city. Of course, though the past decade had been quite kind to Oswald and Ed, allowing them to get married and see their empire rise, it had also been quite cruel to them physically. Oswald's limp had worsened with age, making him dependent on his cane to move even in the slightest of steps. His excessive drinking habit had finally caught up with him, making Oswald gain weight and become as Ed would reassure 'chubby'. Edward himself had only gained a few wrinkles here and there from stress, but his overall physic had remained the same as it was the decade prior.

Edward came over to Oswald once he noticed the expression on his husband's face change to something scornful, curious to what he was reading.

"This is not good Ed, someone needs to put this vigilante in his place!" Oswald announced in frustration, gesturing to the paper.

Ed looked at the title in a puzzled manner and began reading the article from behind Oswald's shoulder.

"Fascinating" He stated in awe, earning an eye roll from Oswald.

"Ed, this creature is not someone we should be fawning over, he is no doubt a threat to the both of us!"

Edward then turned to look at his Penguin's face, endearingly.

"So what do you propose we do about the Batman?".

Oswald then suddenly looked around the room, as if trying to quickly summarise a defined plan, but to no avail.

"I uh, haven't thought of it yet".

Ed chuckled quietly at Oswald's over-ambition getting the better of him.

"I must admit, I am quite attracted to the idea of uncovering the vigilante's identity myself. Gosh, it's just so delicious to think of revealing the answer to such an enigmatic riddle!"

Oswald scoffed for a moment; "This isn't about riddles Ed, this is about putting a stop to a very real threat that could dismantle everything we've built over the years".

Ed then wrapped his hands around Oswald's shoulders, leaning his head further toward's his face.

"Oh but it is my bird, for uncovering the riddle of Batman's true identity, we will put a stop to the madness that he is continuing to conspire. The mother of all riddles will allow us to infiltrate our wrath into the vigilante's personal life and those closest to him. Our threats will corrupt his autonomy and will disallow him from ever even thinking about coming after us."

Oswald's eyebrows rose up in delight at Ed's words, always so smart.

"That's brilliant Ed! We will discover his true identity and then blackmail him at our disposal. He would be but an utter fool to try and stop us then!"

Oswald quickly swerved around his seat, giving Ed a chaste, but meaningful kiss before turning back with a giddy smile. Oswald may have aged but his excitement towards an ambitious plot never ceased to fade from him.

"Or..." Ed interjected suddenly, "We could just kill him?".

"That is true, but at the rate that the Batman is going with his little 'avenging spree', all of our enemies will be cleaned up from the streets by Springtime" Oswald clarified.

"He is of too high value to our empire to obliterate".

Ed nodded his head in understanding, and then came over to kneel at Oswald's feet. He placed a gentle hand on his husband's knee, beaming up at him.

"I've got the perfect plan".

Oswald smiled down at him, "Enlighten me, Ed".

"So, we need to somehow get the Batman to come to us, in order for us to capture him. I was going to suggest ourselves commit a crime to grab his attention, but that'd be too risky for us and with Gordon haven been ready to cuff us for practically anything all year".

"Go on" Oswald encouraged.

"It seems that somehow the Batman is instantaneous to find villains at a crime scene as soon as the crime is committed. I'm assuming he has some sort of surveillance system that watches over the city, or perhaps he just has a police radio that he keeps by his side at all times".

"Make your point Ed" Oswald impatiently interjected.

"We will commission Query and Echo to do something drastic, however, concealed enough for the Batman to detect the crime, but not for the GCPD. Once the vigilante tries to stop them, we will be lurking in the shadows and we will strike just at the right moment".

"And we can't just order someone to do all of this for us?" Oswald questioned, wanting to do as little footwork as possible.

But of course, Ed's ego get's in the way of any of their plan's being performed entirely by their henchmen.

"I want to unveil his identity for myself Oswald. I want to solve the riddle with my own two eyes". 

"Ed, you let your narcissism get the better of you. This is a lot of work and I don't know if my leg will take it", Oswald said, massaging his forever sore ankle.

"And you my dear, let your megalomania get the better of you. If you want, I will go by myself and then I can also keep Query and Echo in check". The Riddler offers.

"No!" Oswald suddenly flusters, "I want to be with you in case something happens, if something goes wrong-"

"Shh, all will be well. But if you insist, we go with my plan" Ed interrupts, gingerly pushing Oswald's hand aside to massage his ankle with his own hand.

Oswald has no excuse to argue back, as he hadn't been as quick as Edward to create a detailed plan. This will have to do.

\---

Ed orchestrated Query and Echo to meet Carmine Falcone down at Gotham harbour to 'discuss' a drug importation, using this fairly tame act of crime (by Ed's standards anyway) to hopefully coax the Batman out of hiding. Edward knew that a corrupted meeting alone wouldn't be enough to entice the Batman, so he told both henchwomen to bring guns and to not hesitate to argue loudly with Falcone if needed be. Oswald and Ed are largely respected by Falcone as their profound rise in power intimidates him, so Ed was doubtful that he would try to harm either one of Ed's accomplices, as the repercussions would be dastardly for the mob boss.

Oswald and Ed ran upstairs of one of the harbour buildings that is behind where Echo, Query and Falcone were to meet, so they have a clear view of the conversation through the overseeing windows and also have easy access to Batman if he were to show up. The plan is once Batman is in clear view, they are to throw down sturdy metal ropes that are connected to a pulley that will ascend Batman up to the building that Oswald and Ed are in. Once the vigilante is caught in the net of ropes, he will not be able to get out of them without the use of a saw to cut him free. Then, Ed and Oswald will move him into the room and will interrogate him to their hearts content.

Ed suggested to also add some torture to the mix just to spice the plan up, but Oswald denied his request as holstering the Batman up will use more then enough of Oswald's energy for one night.

"There they all are" Ed points out to Oswald, watching the three pawns walk to one of Falcone's docks. Query and Echo, dressed in purple and green attires of course, stand in a rehearsed formation, both hands on their hips as they discuss why 'one of Ed and Oswald's shipments have not arrived'.

"Ladies, I've worked with your bosses for a long time. I have nothing but the utmost respect for them both. So you know when I say that I am telling the truth, that I truly am." Carmine defends. "I haven't heard of no shipments of Riddler's and Penguin's going missing".

"Well our bosses aren't here right now are they?!" Query challenges, tempting to draw her pistol.

"Hey, I don't wan't no trouble from your organisation, we've been allies for a long time" Falcone stood back, trying to calm the situation.

"Okay, we need to get him really mad if we're gonna get the Bat to come out from hibernation" Oswald asserted, looking down at the scenario Ed created.

"Bat's don't hibernate, they are simply nocturnal" Ed corrects, earning a deserved eye roll from his partner in crime.

"Whatever! Your two air-headed idiots need to make Falcone mad enough for the Batman to think that someone is gonna get hurt, or ideally killed".

Ed holds up a walkie-talkie that connects to earpieces that both women are secretly wearing behind their hair.

"You're right, this is far from enough commotion".

Ed began to talk into the device; "Girls, start threatening Falcone, we need him to start shouting back. Swear at him, threaten him, flirt with him I don't care, just get a reaction".

The pair watch the two women below give each other a knowing look.

"Clearly you don't understand what is at stake Mr. Falcone!" Echo began.

"If we don't locate this shipping container by tonight, our bosses are gonna have all three of our heads on sticks. And you can count on it that Riddler won't be cutting off your head very swiftly!"

"No!" Query interjected, "You bet he is gonna make it nice and slow".

Falcone suddenly looked very flustered and angered, which is just what the overseeing men were hoping for.

"At least give me 24 hours to get my men to locate it! If it's missing it could be anywhere along the Atlantic!"

"Not good enough!" Query shouts and both girls drew their guns in sync.

Suddenly, Oswald jumped and Ed's eyes widened as a dark, masked figure appeared from the shadows behind Falcone.

"There he is!" Ed shouts in excitement, to which Oswald immediately shushes.

"Quick behaving like a child, we're hear to capture him".

"Sorry, sorry" Ed composed himself, holding the ropes more then ready.

Query and Echo stand back in shock at the terrifying masked figure in front of them, but nevertheless, continue on with their instructions.

"What do you want Bat?!" Echo shouted up at the caped crusader, hoping that he will follow both the ladies if they try running away like as their boss planned.

"Where are your employers, I know this is a set up" The Batman suddenly spoke, voice raspy and unnatural.

Falcone quickly turned around and began to draw his gun, to which the Batman punched away without effort.

"Again, where is Riddler and Penguin?" He demanded.

Query and Echo suddenly felt caught up between staying loyal to their bosses, and running away from the terrifying bat for their own safety.

Oswald and Ed both noticed their hesitation from above.

"I swear if they do so little as to hint where we are-" Oswald threatened, becoming more agitated as the ladies just stood there frozen.

"He won't be able to find us, we're fine" Ed reassured, though secretly doubtful of his own words.

"Hey, you put five of my men in prison and six in the hospital, you and me, we have bigger business to discuss Bat!" Falcone menaced, drawing the Batman's attention to him.

"Those men deserved what came to them. There's no missing shipping container, you can go home Falcone".

Falcone suddenly looked surprised, confused as to exactly what situation he had placed himself in.

"Okay then, good luck ladies" and with that, Falcone bid the women and the Bat good night and got into the limousine waiting for him.

 

Oswald and Ed were stunned from what they had just witnessed. They both turned to each other, anxiety clearly taking over their facial expressions.

"How?!" Oswald shouted, beyond perplexed at this point.

"L-Look, we can still capture him, we just gotta wait until he is at the perfect position" Ed tried reasurring Oswald, again.

The older man then collected himself, feeling determined to take down the Bat when he remembers that the stability of his empire is at stake.

Query and Echo began running towards the target where Oswald and Ed had planned to throw down the ropes, in hope of getting Batman to follow them.

It worked as the Bat glides right after them, probably assuming that the women were going to take him straight to Ed and Oswald.

"Now!" Ed yelled, taking the metal robes and throwing them down at the Bat.

However, the Batman's reflexes were too quick, and he jumped out of the way before looking up, straight into Ed's and Oswald's direction, spotting them both.

"Excuse me ladies" The Bat apologised, before using a grappling hook to ascend himself up towards the window containing The Penguin and The Riddler.

"Oh, that isn't good" Ed states regrettably, quickly grasping Oswald's hand for some source of easy comfort.

The two men gasped and fell to the floor as the glass in front of them smashed to pieces and the Dark Knight lunged through the window.

Oswald and Ed looked up, both terrified and angered at the vigilante for foiling their plan that seemed completely full-proof. Oswald felt disrespected, as the Batman was now treating him as he had with his enemies.

"Who are you!" He snapped, grabbing his cane and points it towards the Bat with means to threaten.

Ed, filled with the same amount of rage as Oswald, hastily pointed his gun at the Batman, hoping to intimidate him into not hurting either of them.

The Bat is silent for a moment, before stepping forward towards them.

"I'm Batman".

Oswald rolls his eyes for what must have seemed like the tenth time that night.

"Yes I am quite aware! I mean WHO are you really? One of Maroni's men?"

Batman gave a motionless glance at the both of them in response.

"Oswald Cobblepot, also known as The Penguin. Accused of Money laundering, illegal gambling, countless thefts, a leader in organised crime and a murderer of countless individuals".

Oswald's mouth dropped.

The bat then nonchalantly turns towards Edward.

"Edward Nygma, also known as The Riddler. Accused of torture, blackmailing federal police, money laundering, burglary, organised crime conspiracy and also being a murderer of countless individuals".

"How did you know all of that?" Ed asked, quite daunted.

The Batman clenched his fists, showing a strong sense of contempt towards the two men, that Edward hypothesised as being personal.

"I made a vow to cleanse Gotham from the corruption and violence caused by men like yourselves. A vow that is my moral duty to fulfil."

Police sirens could be heard faintly in the distance, that were gradually becoming more audible through each passing moment.

Oswald promptly fixed his stance, trembling slightly as he leant on his cane for support.

He scowled at the masked man in front of him.

"I am not afraid of you, and I will not be threatened by a man who is too much of a coward to show his face to those he threatens".

Ed, suddenly have gained a strong sense of confidence against the Dark Knight, tried shooting at the vigilante. The crusader expeditiously turns, his black cape shielding him from the two villains as he jumped back out of the broken window.

Before Ed and Oswald had a moment to think about the events that had just occurred, GCPD officers raided the room and both men focused their eyes on a pleased Commissioner Jim Gordon standing in the doorway.


End file.
